Depression

I want to share something with you.  It is kind of a serious subject so bare with me.  I have debated over the past several months how to exactly share it.  I've scheduled this post and cancelled it at least 3 times.  I don't really know how to go about gracefully sharing this, so I'm just going to jump right in. 

I suffer from depression.  I can pretty much tell you the exact moment it happened to me, too.  I was in 7th grade orchestra class at Woodrow Wilson Junior High in Terre Haute, IN.  I was sitting there holding my violin and it was like something in my brain just kind of clicked.  Not necessarily a bad thing but it was just as if my way of thinking changed. 

It wasn't until I was a sophomore in college at Purdue that I was diagnosed.  After lots of terrible late night calls to my Mom (who was five hours away), I knew I needed help.  I really wasn't sure what was wrong.  Luckily Purdue has a great student health center and they were able to help me.  I was diagnosed with depression and told I had a chemical imbalance in my brain and would probably need to take medication the rest of my life.  It took 3 times to get the medication right but I started to feel like myself again.  I joined a sorority called Sigma Kappa that winter (2000) and things really started to turn around for me.

Life didn't become sunshine and rainbows then but it got better.  I have struggled over the last 14 years.  As I have gotten older, I have learned how to handle things better.  But sometimes I just can't turn my mind off.  Racing thoughts.  Constant worrying.  But don't we all? 

On the outside you probably think she is nice, quiet person.  I can't imagine her being depressed.  It is something I'm pretty good at hiding and I can put on a happy front.  (Not always.)  I'm bad about letting things get to me.  I have to force myself out there and have normal everyday interactions.  It is a struggle.  If I acted how I really feel sometimes, no one would want to be around me.  It is a hard balance to find because I am such a people pleaser.  I need to remember it is me I need to please.

Anxiety comes along with depression usually.  I have had a couple of panic attacks before.  Very, very minor.  Like I said I really have to force myself into social situations.  My self esteem is like a -500.  I beat myself up mentally.  All the years of being made fun of for being overweight and tall took a huge toll on me.  I'm deathly afraid of meeting new people because we moved around a lot as a kid.  All these factors have not helped me over the years.  I constantly worry about what people are thinking about me.  I know what you are thinking.  Who the heck cares?  After doing it for so many years, it is just hard to stop.

How am I doing now?  Well I would say I'm fair.  I have learned how to better handle things and try and let them go.  (Darn Irish grudges.)  We had a very, very brutal and cold winter in Indiana and as the world came out of the deep freeze, I didn't.  That is how I can best describe it.  It took my very good friend Jennifer telling me ever so kindly that maybe my medicine wasn't working anymore.  I'm working on getting that fixed again and going to therapy.  I'm not ashamed to admit that.  I have done it in the past but always had to stop because insurance was changing or I just couldn't afford it.  I find it always helps talking to an outside person.  They can give you a perspective on your life that you never thought of before.

So why am I putting myself out there and telling you this?  It is not because I want you to feel sorry for me.  I want you to know who I am.  Inside and out.  For me it is best to talk things out.  Get it all out there.  I want others to know it is okay.  It is okay to ask for help.  It is okay to talk about it.  When we stop talking that is when things go south.  If you ever feel like you need to talk, I'm here.  I may not have the answers but I'm a really good listener.  I've been there.

Depression is an illness just like anything else.  It is treatable and not something to be embarrassed about.  You can learn to live with it and lead a normal life.  You have to be willing to want to help yourself.  Life will not always be perfect but you don't have to feel miserable living it.

If there is one piece of advice I can give you it is this.  Surround yourself with people who love you, respect you, listen to you, and support you no matter what.  Without my Mom and Dad, I can assure you I would not be here today.

And if all else fails just laugh.  Just find humor in life because sometimes we just can't take life that seriously.  I will be the first one to admit, I'm just a work in progress.  Take me or leave me.  Hate me or love me.  I'm just me.

High Five for Friday

Happy Friday everyone!  Was it just me or was this the longest week ever?!  Maybe because it was a slow week for me.  Not too much going on but I'm okay with that.  Here are five things from my week.  I hope you have a wonderful week and enjoy this mild weather here in the Midwest!!!

1.  I was a guest blogger this week at Indy Restaurant Scene.  I got an insane amount of people who visited my blog from this post.  It was so exciting!  I am looking forward to doing more guest blogging in the future.  I think this is a great way to get my blog out there.  If you missed my guest post please go here.  I reviewed Bearcats in Indy.  And remember to eat local!

Top:  Grouper Po Boy  Bottom:  Pork Tenderloin

2.  I would like to introduce you to one of my favorite famous kitties.  Grumpy Cat!!!  Her real name is Tardar Sauce.  In all honesty she really isn't Grumpy............

She became an internet sensation because of her 'grumpy' face.  Grumpy makes all kinds of appearances.  (She is a very well behaved cat.  Mine would freak out traveling everywhere like her!)  This past weekend she was on QVC for Christmas in July.

Grumpy was selling her stuffed animal. My Mom texted me when she saw her on and said turn on QVC NOW!!  And there was Grumpy.  I had to have her.  Being my sweet Mom she bought her for me.  The rest is history.  I'm the best crazy cat lady ever!!!  You can purchase Grumpy here.

3.  My co-worker and I are trying to go out to lunch once a week.  Just to get away and enjoy some time outside work.  It is nice to catch up and talk about things other than work.  This week we were both craving a good home cooked meal.  So we went to Cracker Barrel.  We both had chicken and dumplings with all the fixins.  YUMMY!  (Okay so sometimes I eat at chain restaurants.  You caught me.)

Why am I showing you this box of Nerds I picked up at Cracker Barrel?  I wanted to share a story with you about why I bought them.  When I was little, my Grandpa would always take us kids to a park in Newburgh, IN.  It also had a lock and dam area where we would watch the barges go through.  It is one of the great memories I have with him.  We would play on the swings and hunt for beavers in the woods.  Afterwards he would take us to an old fashion General Store and let us pick out some candy.  I always got Nerds.  As I was waiting to check out at Cracker Barrel, I saw this box and thought of my Grandpa.  He died when I was 8 and we had such little time together.  In that moment all my memories came flooding back.  (Sorry Mom grab some tissues.)

4.  I treated myself to some new earrings this week from Lisa Leonard Designs.  She is one of the bloggers I follow and I feel like I know her.  She has an amazing company that makes all kinds of jewelry.  When I saw these earrings on instagram, I just knew I needed them.  I love hearts because it is one of the symbols of my sorority (Sigma Kappa.  One heart, one way!)  They arrived Thursday and are just beautiful.  I can't wait to wear them!

5.  My beautiful city Indianapolis.  How I love them.  Indy is a great place to live.  I have been here for 8 years now.  I feel like I know the ins and outs.  I kind of feel like Carrie from Sex and the City.  How she always said she had a relationship with her one true love, New York City.  That is how I feel about Indy.  That is why I named my blog NapTownDiva.  IndiaNAPolis.

Lately we have had a lot of violence in our lovely city.  Shootings, killings, robberies, drugs, just all kinds of violence.  In the last month we even had a cop that was killed.  It is just sad.  But what I am seeing is neighbors and law enforcement coming together.  Watching out for each other.  This is just another reason why I love this city.

I'm linking up with The Lauren Elizabeth for High Five for Friday.

Just because

For no other reason than I am feeling truly uninspired to write.....here is something to make you laugh.

Sometimes I just watch this when I am feeling stressed or need a good laugh.  I don't know who made this but thank you!

If you haven't done so already be sure to check out my guest blog post on Indy Restaurant Scene.

Check out the blogs I'm reading this summer on this post.

I'm a Guest Blogger over at Indy Restaurant Scene

Hi!  I'm a guest blogger over at Indy Restaurant Scene today.  I'm reviewing Bearcats in Indy.  Check out my blog post here.  In the meantime here are some pictures to tempt you..................

Breaded Pork Tenderloin

Grouper Po'Boy

Support your local economy.  EAT LOCAL!!!!!

Bearcats Restaurant 
1055 N. Senate Avenue
Indianapolis, IN 46202   (317) 602-3509
Restaurant Hrs: M-F 7:30 a.m.- 9 p.m. (Bar is open later)
Parking:  Plenty of on street meter parking.
bearcatsindy.net

High Five for Friday

I'm linking up with The Lauren Elizabeth for High Five for Friday.

 1.  This past weekend I headed home to Norwalk, Ohio for my brother's 32nd birthday.  We are 2.5 years apart.  Growing up his birthday was always the highlight of the summer for me.  Since my birthday is December 29, his birthday was always more fun to celebrate.  Pool parties, putt-putt, sleepovers, family trips.  Just all kinds of fun activities you can't do in the winter.   As a tribute to Andy, I decided to scan some old pictures from his birthday over the years.  (He's going to kill me.)

Andy and his best friend Kyle growing up.  Maybe 3-4??

Young master Andrew (as Dad called him) opening a gift

7th birthday???

Birthday number 8

This birthday we had to wear sweatshirts in July

Such a cutie!  Must have been Saturday steak night.

Andy was a simple kid.  Ice cream for his birthday was good enough for him!

Andy and Kyle

Number 9

Please check out my perm and SUPER awesome glasses

Wearing an Indiana shirt here!

I think this is number 10 when we were in Colorado.  Again my awesome permed hair.

Could I say Andy was a pesky little brother and we fought all the time?  Nah that wasn't us.  We were built in playmates/friends for each other.  Pretty good kids if you ask me.  We shared a lot over the years including chicken pox, moving a lot, and growing up with awesome parents.  Not only do we look A LOT alike but we shared the same childhood.  (I forget that sometimes.)  I love hearing his version of our memories.  I'm sure it was hard growing up with a sister like me.  I stole the spotlight, did the masterminding, and of course ALL the bossing.  But I paved the way for him.  He got off easy being #2 in line.  

The sweetest memory I have is when we were probably 10 and 12.  I was deathly afraid of someone breaking into our house in Terre Haute as we slept.  (My room was the first one at the top of the stairs.)  Andy spent an entire summer sleeping on a trundle bed in my room.  He protected me and made me feel safe.  First class gentleman!

2.  I also went home to attend a graduation party for a young lady I use to babysit for.  Mind you I've known her since the day she was born.  Man oh man when did I get old?  My pictures are lacking from this trip but here are some random ones.

Nap time on the way to Gammy and Granpy's.  Please note she is holding her Frozen dolls and Frozen earrings as she sleeps.

Super Moon

'Writing is so hard!  I'll never get it!'  As she dramatically falls over.  4 going on 14!

That's me!

This is from Berry's Restaurant in Norwalk.  When you order water they call it a Lake Cocktail.  I don't know if this is funny or gross.

Me and Mom on our way to the graduation party.  She looks mad.  I'm going to blame Dad for that one!

Mom got some cokes with our names on them!

3.  Norwalk has a reservoir on the south side of town.  It has playgrounds, shelter areas, Frisbee golf, fishing, walking paths, and just tons of space to explore.  I thought K#1 needed to burn some energy off so Mom and I took her to the playground areas.  We had a blast swinging, going down slides, climbing, and exploring the mud on the 'beach' area.  It was a beautiful day!

Same swing about 2 years apart.  I mean I can't even stand it!!!

4.  Andy chose Melt Bar and Grill for his birthday brunch.  I had never heard of it before.  It was totally not what I expected at all.  It was indeed a bar (umm duh Megan).  Kind of reminded me of Harry's Chocolate Shop at Purdue.  But the Melt has way better food.  Basically fancy grill cheese sandwiches.  I ordered biscuits and gravy with egg.  And this is what I got.
 

  
Totally not what I expected at all!  A sandwich?!  It even had a biscuit.  It was delicious!  Mom and Andy had the crab cakes, Stacey and K#1 a turkey and gouda, Dad the BBQ.  All in grill cheese sandwich form.  I highly recommend the Melt if you are in the Lakewood/Cleveland Ohio area.

5.  Kitties, kitties, kitties.  One morning I rolled over, not knowing they were beside me and saw this.  Also a yawn in action.  Snuggle bunnies.  Sabrina may have been a mean kitty in her day on the farm but she secretly loves her sissy Callie.

Happy Friday!!!!  Have a fabulous weekend!!!  I think I might just lay by the pool.  Or take a nap in the AC....................

A little IU vs PU humor

If you didn't know, I went to Purdue University.  Much to my parents dismay!  I grew up being an IU fan.  (I am still a Bobby Knight fan.  Sssshhh don't tell.)  My parents are still die hard IU fans.  But their sweet daughter went to the dark side and went to Purdue.  Our house is VERY divided.  I will admit over the years, my parents have embraced Purdue athletics.  (As long as they are not playing IU.)  Thought I would share this joke I received many moons ago.

 

Bobby Knight, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded Indiana University flag in the window.

"This house is yours for eternity, Bob," said God. "This is very special; not everyone gets a house up here."

Bob felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3000-story SKYSCRAPER with a Black and Gold sidewalk, made out of platinum trimmed in gold. It had a 300 story golden gate around it with blue and white pearls hanging from the top, furthermore it had a 4800 foot diamond flagpole with an enormous PURDUE University logo silk flag, and in every window, a PU logo.

Bob looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I won three national championships, more Big Ten titles than I can remember and I am the winningest coach in IU basketball history."

God said "So what do you want to know, Bob?" "Well, why does Gene Keady get a better house than me?"

God chuckled, and said "Bob, that's not Gene's house, it's mine."

Recipe: Easy Chicken Pot Pie

Life gets boring sometimes when you have to think every. single. day.....what is for dinner?!  I wanted to try something different so I made a chicken pot pie.  I've never made one before but wanted to keep it super simple.  I looked at several recipes online and this is what I came up with.

Easy Chicken Pot Pie
Preheat your oven to 375F

Here is what you will need:

1 can of mixed vegetables
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
2 cans of chicken (You can use fresh chicken, too.  I was trying to keep it easy and fast.)
1/4 cup of chicken broth
2 pie crusts (one for the top and bottom of your pot pie)
seasonings of your choice (I added salt and lots of pepper)

Please excuse my cheap apt counter tops.  But admire my pretty Longaberger pink pie plate!

 Gradually mix all your ingredients (except for the pie crust) in a bowl.  Gradually add the chicken stock in until it is a consistency you like.  I made the mistake of adding way to much chicken stock.

Line your pie plate with the pie crust and pour your filling in.

Put the next pie crust on top and cut a slit in the top so it has a vent.

Cook in a 375F oven for about an hour.  When you see it start to bubble inside you will know it is done.

 Take out of the oven and let it sit for about 5 minutes.  Insides will be extremely hot.

Yum, yum, yum, yum

Like I have said before I am not a real 'exact' cook.  I don't measure.  I just kind of eyeball it.  (Much to my mother's dismay.)  The one mistake I did make was I added too much chicken stock.  I should have gradually poured it in as my pot pie was very full.  Next time I will get it right!  This made enough for me to eat for 6-7 meals. 

Just saying heyyyyyy

Hello!  Hope you all had a wonderful holiday weekend!  Sorry I have been quiet on the blog this week.  Needed a little break but I will be back at it next Monday.  In the meantime enjoy these adorable pictures of my nieces.  (Photos courtesy of my Mom and Andy.)

Gimme that phone.

Selfie with Daddy

I know she looks bald but she does have some blonde fuzz.

Sleeping with her eyes open.  I've been told I do this sometimes.

Church picnic with Mommy

Look it is big sister!!

She wakes up so happy

Sitting up like a big girl!!!

Happy 4th of July!!!

Grandpa helping her drink from a straw.